I’m in a weird situation. A conundrum, you could say. Due to the nature of my work (911 dispatcher), I will have no reduction in hours. I may even start picking up overtime as things progress. And while I’m thankful to continue receiving a paycheck in these uncertain times, I see people talk about all the free time they have now that they’re not working and hunkered down at home, and…I feel a little pang of jealousy.
But here’s the thing: even if I wasn’t working, and had all sorts of free time, I’m not sure I’d really get any writing done. Every time I try to write, I find I just can’t concentrate. It’s too much to think about with the virus and the quarantine and the people I know who could be affected by it. 2020 started off great with my productivity—I’m about 18k words into a new novel, and when that stalled just a touch I started a *bonkers* short story that I was really liking. Then about two weeks ago, the news got overwhelming. And I haven’t written a word since.
I really don’t have a point here, I’m just wondering if anyone else is having the same problem. I’m hoping here soon it will get easier to compartmentalize what’s going on. I get overcome with guilt when I have WIP’s I could be working on but don’t take advantage of the time I have, so I’ve been beating myself up a little these past couple weeks. I know I’ll get back on that horse, I just wish it were a little easier. But, as my dad was fond of saying, “If it were easy, everyone would do it.”
I’m still doing my best to stay positive. Make no mistake, I’m not in panic mode, but I do worry. I have a child under two and a spouse with asthma and a compromised immune system at home, so I worry. But we still laugh and enjoy each other’s company, so it could definitely be worse. I just need to get busy writing! Take necessary precautions everyone, this is no joke. Wash those hands.