Indecision, Second-Guessing, and Procrastination

I decided to slightly alter the header on the blog so that it now says “(self?)Publication”.  Here’s why:  Since I now have two works that are nearly ready for prime time, I spent some time this week researching the self-publication process, even going as far as designing a peliminary cover for one of them.  I was feeling pretty good, excited to forge ahead.   Then I found this blog post by writer Chuck Wendig, in which he and several other writers offer up their opinions on the subject, which for the most part are decidedly anti self-pub.  That’s all it took to stop me in my tracks and get me second-guessing the whole notion of doing this all myself.

Initially, I was automatically drawn to the idea of self-publication.  Back in the Olden Days when I spent a few years playing in punk and metal bands, DIY was the way to go.  Don’t bow down to record labels, record it yourself, release it and sell it yourself, Do It Yourself.  But the more I begin to rethink self-publication, the more I’m filled with self-doubt.  And what a lot of it comes down to isn’t so much rejection; I think I can handle a polite rejection letter from a publisher a lot better than a rude comment on the internet saying my book flat-out sucks.  What I have doubts about is the editing (or lack thereof).  I feel like I need more eyes on these projects before I can send them off into the big, scary world.  And for every rejection letter I get, there could be a tiny bit of constructive criticism in there that helps me make the book better.

So now I’m back to doing internet searches about finding literary agents, and which publishers out there would be looking for something along the lines of what I’ve got.  It makes me just want to chuck it all out the window and forget about it.  I’m fighting myself tooth and nail not to do that.  I keep thinking, ‘well, I can look into that next week, now that I’m not going to self-pub right now.’  You see, I’m a World Class Procrastinator.  A blue-ribbon winning, record-setting procrastinator.  If procrastination was an Olympic Sport, I’d be Michael F’n Phelps. So it’s easy to think of reasons not to do it. And I know how I am, so I can’t give myself the chance to put it off.  So, that’s all for now, it’s back to the internet for me to keep searching.  Well, in just a little bit, anyway. I think a movie’s coming on.