I’ve been feeling kind of gripey lately. Maybe the cold is finally getting to me. As a native Californian, I think I’ve handled the adjustment to the frigid Midwestern winters pretty well—but we all have our breaking points. The last month or so has seen my inner grouch grow exponentially. This weekend we’re actually looking at semi-comfortable temperatures (the upper 50’s? Break out the shorts!), and my disposition may change, so I’m going to get this list of words that irritate and annoy me off my chest before I cheer up.
Some of the words are slang, some are proper words I just don’t like because they’re awkward and/or ugly to say. Some really don’t need any explanation at all. As always, this list is the sole opinion of The Books of Jobe editorial department (staff:1), and no offense is intended toward anyone reading who actually uses any of these words. Just stop it. And away we go:
I’m okay with a lot of slang—I even like “trippin’ balls.” But I draw the line here.
I’m talking about the “new” use of because, as in, “I like rock music because guitars.” No.
No explanation needed.
“What’s the dealio?” has not been funny or cool in 20 years, please stop.
Everything is not epic.
I can appreciate what’s being attempted here by combining two words, but it’s an awkward word to me. There are so many more creative ways to insult someone’s appearance.
I don’t care if it did make its way into the dictionary, I refuse to recognize it as a word.
You really don’t hear this very often, but it sounds silly. Don’t like it.
What are you, twelve?
Curiously, I like the word gut. Not jut.
No explanation needed.
Does anybody still use this word? When I hear “let’s take a looksee,” part of me dies inside.
Since saying I think is so simple? Methinks is one of my trigger words: whenever I see/hear it, I instantly dislike the person using it.
Natch (short for naturally)
I only see this in writing, I assume because anyone who has actually spoken the word was immediately put to death.
Possibly the ugliest word on the list.
Um, yeah. No.
This word sucks unless you’re playing Words with Friends. Or Scrabble, if you’re as old as I am.
This is up there with amazeballs. People can use it all they want, it still won’t legitimize it.
This one’s just due to overuse. Surely there’s another word people can use.
The word that keeps me from being able to completely embrace Alton Brown. If you ever hear someone use this word, don’t think—turn and run, as you’re obviously in the company of a pretentious ass.
Say use. Period.
A word that seems to only come up when I read about politics, which is thankfully not too often. Still, an awkward word to say.
Not gonna lie—I had already committed to making a list of words for every letter in the alphabet, and had to resort to looking up words that started with W. But say it out loud and tell me I’m wrong.
Don’t think I’ve ever seen this word not followed by the word gum. Luckily, a word no one has to say much unless they work in the food industry.
I’m still holding on to a sliver of hope this word will die out and go back to obscurity, with words like tubular.
Again, had to look up a word that started with Z. It means ornamental holder for a coffee cup. The more I look at it the more I almost like it, but I’m leaving it on here and moving on before I change my mind.
Well I don’t know about you guys, but I sure feel better. I know there are some word nerds out there (syntax slayers? vocabulary vultures?) who are probably chomping at the bit to add some words to the list, so let’s have it—what are the words that make you cringe like a rake being scraped across a chalkboard while Rebecca Black sings Friday?
Note: I don’t want to sound like a broken record regarding True Detective, but is anybody watching this show? My lord, that last episode was incredible. If you have HBO, you’ve got no excuse. Seriously, watch it!