It’s Time for Me to Come Clean About My Porn Addiction

Relax, it’s not what you think.  🙂

Life is full of stressors. Work, school, kids, money, politics, waiting for the new season of Bojack Horseman—it’ll drive you mad if you’re not careful. That’s why the concept of self care has become more important than ever. You have to find time to do things for yourself, for both your mental and physical well-being.

Some people do spa days. Some go to the gym or take up running. Some turn to drugs or alcohol, which while certainly not recommended, is unfortunately a fairly common type of self care. Personally, I like getting out with my camera (be it on the street or out in nature) and taking photos, or maybe dusting off the ol’ guit-fiddle to bang out a few bars to an old classic, like Love Me Do or Dead Skin Mask (if you don’t know that second one, by all means look it up).

Lately, though, free time has become more and more scarce; there are simply not enough hours in the day to work, write, run errands, keep a toddler alive, and still find time for myself. So, when I found something new that calmed my frazzled nerves, I took to it like a duck to water. The only problem is…it’s a little awkward to talk about.

Porn.

Wait, hold on. Not like regular porn.

Internet porn.

Come back! Let me explain.

On Reddit, that bastion of good taste and decorum, many of the subreddits on the site end with the word ‘porn‘. It’s just kind of a wink to people who get the joke. For example, the sub featuring stunningly beautiful landscape photos is called r/EarthPorn. Astro photography is in the sub r/SpacePorn. But my favorite? You’ll never guess.

Here’s a hint.

r/PowerWashingPorn has over 770,000 members. Popular videos in the sub routinely get upwards of 15,000 upvotes (the Reddit equivalent of ‘liking’ something). As the name implies, the vast majority of the videos are of people using power washers to clean…well, anything and everything they can.

Stone walkways are popular, as are concrete driveways, all types of vehicles, brick steps, wooden decks, patio furniture…the list goes on. And I know what some of you are thinking: “How can watching someone hose something off be enjoyable?” In response, I present Exhibit A—watch this guy spray off this filthy Alpha Romeo and tell me it doesn’t give you just a bit of satisfaction.

If that doesn’t do anything for you, let me give you another. This guy cleaning this brick driveway is a thing of absolute beauty. Watching this is almost like popping a Xanax for me. It soothes my soul!

Look, I know it might seem silly, but these vids are so satisfying that I’m just about ready to seriously declare them part of my self care regimen. Life can be ugly, messy, dirty business. If I find solace in someone blasting shit off a dirty sidewalk, then why the hell not, you know?

So give it a shot—spend some time on r/PowerWashingPorn and see if maybe it does the same for you., and for once you can have a porn addiction that doesn’t require your credit card number.

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