I finished the rough draft to my first novel. It didn’t take as long as I thought it would, which I guess should be a good sign. But the thing is, even though I do feel a sense of accomplishment, overall I just have this feeling of all-consuming dread.
I see so many gaping holes in the plot and timeline it makes my head spin. The ending is a little weak.
Rewrites and revisions will probably take quite a while, especially with summer coming on and my work schedule picking up, plus the never-ending yard work and my tireless battle with the bugs that always come about this time of year.
After thinking it over for a while, though, I guess I am pretty happy about it. I have a lot of ideas about fixing what doesn’t work and making what does work even better, and I’m really happy with the general premise for the story. I think it mixes a few elements of outright horror with the tension of a suspense story. Time will tell.
This is also a bit of an experiment for me. My past projects, I would write until I got stuck, then go back and edit until I had an idea or felt inspired to pick back up where I left off. With the new book, though, I just steamrolled through the rough draft, leaving everything to be edited and rewritten later.
I hope to go through it one more time fairly soon and make some of the changes I thought of while I was writing, then I’m just going to let it sit for at least a month or two while I finish editing my second novella and the short stories I’ve written in the past few weeks.
In the meantime, I’ll try to keep blogging at least once a week or more, if I think of topics that interest me. This is the longest gap between blog posts since the A to Z challenge started in April, and it feels weird. I want to keep connected to the blogosphere, and I’ve noticed if I’m not blogging myself I’m not keeping up on everyone else’s blogs either. So my apologies to my fellow blogger friends I’ve made in the past couple months, I’ll get back on track and catch up on your blogs!
BooksofJobe.com 
I wrote a book under a pen name, became disgusted with it, pulled it, revised it, have edited it some eighteen different times. I feel very over it. I had to go back to writing stuff that I knew would never be published and editing other people’s stuff just to feel the joy of writing again. Hence, the birth of the infamous Undead in the Netherworld blog.
I think many writers are very perfectionistic. We’re never satisfied with what we create, no matter how good the feedback.
I’d say that’s definitely true. Someone could tell me one of my stories was perfect, and I’d be like, “I could’ve done this or done that.”
Big congrats on that achievement dude. Even getting to a first draft stage is incredible. I know what you mean though, I used to hate writing END when finishing a screenplay or short movie script and then thinking “crap, now I have to start thinking of ways to make this better? Urgh”. So worth it in the end. And don’t sweat the blogging stuff, we’ll all still be here when you get back to it
Thanks, I appreciate it. I think what made me feel worse than not blogging in a while was that I wasn’t checking out all the other blogs I enjoy, like yours. They help keep me sane, which is quite a feat.
Perfectionism can be good sometimes. I guess it’s a matter of knowing when one is overdoing it. But here’s the thing. We writers, we are subjective, because writing is not a science. I think that’s where the nagging feeling of ‘this is not as good as it should be’ comes from. We also know that we will never please EVERYBODY who reads our work. In science, it’s more a matter of “I don’t care if you like it! That’s just the way it is!”. Anybody who can make writing into a science could get very rich.
This sounds exactly how I feel as I pass the finish-line for NaNoWriMo! I’ve steamrollered through the month, ignoring the gaping plot-holes and disasterous inconsistencies I know I’ve created along the way! December is going to be revision-hell!!! But hopefully it’s a fixable hot mess 🙂 and at least now I know I can write that much in one go without letting my inner-editor worry at it!
I let the story sit and “breathe” so to speak, and I’ve just started looking at it again after a few months. I’m surprised that it doesn’t seem nearly as bad as I thought originally. Thanks for commenting and congrats on NaNo!
Thanks! That’s a good idea… I do think it’ll do me some good to leave it in a dark room for a bit and go see what the outside world’s been doing in my absence before I get into edits!